Why “Just Try It” Might Not Work at the Dinner Table
“Just try it.”
It sounds reasonable. Especially when someone is already eating. They might even be sitting at the table, food is in front of them, they’re taking bites of a familiar meal. From the outside, it can feel like a small extra step to ask them to try something new.
But for many people, this misses what’s actually happening in that moment.
Eating a familiar food is one task
When I’m eating something I know and trust, my body and brain can settle.
I know how it will taste, smell, and feel
I don’t need to monitor every bite
My nervous system can relax
In that state, I can just be. I might chat, watch a video, focus on a game, or work on a puzzle. Eating is happening in the background because it feels safe and predictable.
This is a regulated, low-effort state.
“Just try it” is a completely different task
Being asked to try a new or uncertain food changes everything.
Suddenly:
My attention has to come fully back to the food
My senses heighten
I might feel nervous or unsure
I may need to inspect it, take it apart, smell it, or touch it first
This isn’t stubbornness or avoidance. It’s my brain doing its job: assessing risk.
Trying a new food requires focus, emotional energy, and often bravery.
Image from Canva by by Nungning20 from Getty Images
You might also be interested in my co-authored book about an Autistic young person and their same food ‘Gabby’s Glimmers’ and my other food blogs such as ‘Context Eating: Why We Prefer Specific Foods in Specific Situations‘, ‘Why We Need Low Pressure Food Opportunities‘ and ‘How to Get Them to Eat: Rethinking Some Traditional Parenting Strategies‘
Two different emotional states
Eating a preferred food and trying an unfamiliar one are not just variations of the same activity. They are two different emotional and neurological states.
One is calm and regulated
The other can be alert, cautious, or overwhelmed
Asking someone to switch between these states mid-meal can feel jarring. It’s like asking them to relax and be on high alert at the same time.
Two different demands
“Just try it between bites” may look small, but it’s actually asking for:
A shift in attention
A shift in sensory processing
A shift in emotional readiness
That’s a lot to ask, especially when the meal was already working.
Why timing and environment matter
For many people, trying new foods works better:
Outside of main meals
When there’s no pressure to eat it
When attention and energy can be fully given to exploration
This might look like playing with food, exploring it without tasting, or having separate moments that are about trying, rather than combining it with the comfort of eating familiar foods.
A different question to ask
Instead of:
“Can you just try it?”
We might ask:
“Is this a good time to explore something new?”
“Would you like to look at it or touch it first?”
“Do you want your preferred food to stay separate?”
These questions respect that eating and trying are different tasks and that both deserve support.
In short
Someone can be eating and still not be ready to try.
When we understand the difference, we can stop pushing moments that feel logical to us and start finding way that work with the other person.
Thank you for being here,
Laura Hellfeld
RN, MSN, PHN, CNL
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Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.
Signposting and Resources
Gabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food
This is such a helpful explanation. Thank you.
My son used to be in such high alert mode that not even playing he was interested. We started playing with dry ingredients like rice (moving from on bowl to the other, washing it, etc) and after cooking he was helping me to serve the rice to the plates for my surprise he started to eat it 😊