Webinar Recording and Write Up: What can we do about sleep difficulties when home doesn’t feel safe?

This article and webinar were inspired by a question asked during the Autistic Burnout Conference. I wanted to share my response here as perhaps others may find it helpful too.

---

What can we do about sleep difficulties when home doesn’t feel safe?

It’s an important question because so much sleep advice assumes that everyone has access to a safe, predictable environment. We are often told to improve our sleep hygiene, reduce screen time, create bedtime routines, or practise relaxation techniques.

While these strategies can be helpful for some people, they can miss a crucial reality:

If your environment doesn’t feel safe, your difficulty sleeping may not be a sleep problem at all.

It may be your nervous system doing exactly what it has learned to do.

Image from Canva by Damedeeso

You may also be interested in some of my other sleep blogs ‘Protecting Relationships When Sleep is Hard for PDAers’ and ‘Why Waking Up in the Morning Is Hard (It’s Hormones, Not Behaviour)’

---

When Safety Comes Before Sleep

Our brains and bodies are designed to keep us safe.

If there is a threat (whether that threat is real, anticipated, or based on previous experiences) our nervous system may remain alert and ready to respond. In those circumstances, difficulties falling asleep, staying asleep, or feeling rested can be understandable responses.

When safety is uncertain, the body often prioritises vigilance over rest.

This is why telling someone to “just relax” can feel frustrating or invalidating. A nervous system responding to genuine concerns is not choosing to stay awake. It is trying to protect the person.

Rather than asking, “How do we force sleep?” a more helpful question may be:

“How can we support rest and increase feelings of safety where possible?”

The webinar is available to paid subscribers. To access all downloadable resources and webinars, subscriptions are £5/moth or £50/year.

---