Getting to Know More About PDAers:
The Less Discussed Characteristics
Please note that everyone is unique and so this is not a complete or tick-box list. It’s based on shared experiences from PDAers and parents discussing their children, but individual experiences of course vary.
This blog can also be found here as a free PDF in the resource list on PDA North America.
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is often understood and discussed through its most prominent traits, such as vulnerability to anxiety and resistance to everyday demands. However, there are many lesser talked about characteristics such as deep empathy, creativity, and a strong need for fairness that paint a fuller, richer picture of PDAers and their experiences.
By discussing these often-overlooked traits, we can foster greater understanding and better support PDA individuals as their authentic selves.
PDA stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance or Persistent Drive for Autonomy
Fantasy & Make Believe
PDAers have incredibly expansive & detail-oriented imaginations. They can love pretending to exist in a parallel life or take on being a made up or known character or even animals. In particular, cat culture is very popular & is where a PDAer takes on acting like a cat and would like everyone to treat them as such. PDAers may also run ongoing narratives for pretend storylines & of course enjoy being part of fandoms of sci-fi and fantasy-based books, movies & games. PDAers are known to have imaginary friends as well.
Image from Canva, by Michal Collection
Creative Thinking Leads to Lots of Creating
The young and adult PDAers that I have had the privilege of getting to know are so incredibly creative. Many have multiple creative outlets such as poetry, drawing, crocheting, cooking & jewellery making to name just a few. They are incredibly self-driven to learn these skills & express themselves through different mediums.
Autodidactic refers to being self-taught or having the ability to learn independently without formal instruction. Autodidacts often pursue knowledge, skills, or expertise on their own initiative, using resources like books, online materials, or hands-on experience.
Image from Canva, by oksanashufrych
Negotiation Skills
PDAers often excel at negotiation due to their creative thinking, adaptability, and keen ability to read social dynamics. Their resourcefulness and persistence enable them to navigate complex situations, find compromises, and advocate effectively for their needs and preferences. These skills, though sometimes overlooked, highlight the strengths and potential of PDA individuals in problem-solving and collaboration.
Personal and Social Justice
PDAers often have a strong sense of personal and social justice, driven by their deep empathy and innate desire for fairness. They are quick to recognize inequality and can be passionate advocates for both themselves and others. This sense of justice, combined with their determination and resourcefulness, makes them powerful voices for positive change in their communities. Their decisions tend to be made based on aligning with their internal compass of right & wrong.
Equality versus Hierarchy
PDAers often have a natural resistance to traditional hierarchies, valuing equality and mutual respect over authority based on position. This can lead them to challenge unfair systems and advocate for more inclusive, collaborative approaches in both personal and social contexts. Their preference for egalitarian relationships highlights their focus on fairness and authenticity. This is true across settings such as school, work and in the home.
Sense of Humour
PDAers often have a sharp sense of humour, using wit and playfulness to connect with others and navigate social situations. Their humour can be clever, deeply perceptive and often ridiculous in a way that is boundary pushing. This strength helps them build relationships and diffuse tension, showcasing their resourcefulness and charm.
Image from Canva, by Hình ảnh của tranvinhphuc77
Thank you for learning about the community,
Laura Hellfeld
RN, MSN, PHN, CNL
Sign up to my Newsletter Here
Connect with me on social media
I'm really grateful to see this post! This half of the conversation is often missing—we hear about PDAers "refusing" to do things, but we rarely hear about PDAers with the gumption and assuredness (and skill) to, say, develop and get signatures on a petition to require the school cafeteria to switch to paper straws, like a PDA 4th grader I know, or to bring a challenge to a college policy directly to the president of that college as an undergraduate student, like a PDA 20-year-old I know. In my experience, this is mostly because we still view ND kids primarily through the perspectives of those who care for them within models that view compliance as success.
Thank you so much for highlighting the amazing strengths of this group of special people!! This is the first time I’ve read something that put PDA in a positive light and I am so grateful! I sent it to my 16 year old PDA kid so he could see himself in a more positive light 🩷